This is something that Jesus has been speaking to my heart for a long time now - especially since I fall into both categories. I remember when I was newly married, there was something that my wife and I 'debated' about. I was a part of a small Bible Study with the same group of guys for over 2 years and we had all gotten very close and while that wasn't the issue with her, what was the issue is that it took another night out of the week in my already busy schedule. Plus, I wasn't attending the same church as the other guys any more and it was an hour's drive each way (in good traffic) to the Bible Study. My wife wanted me to find something closer and in the church we were attending on and off - you see, it wasn't that she didn't want me getting together with other guys, it was a matter of starting to make some priorities that included her and her input on things I was going to spend my time on. Needless to say, I was pretty ticked off at her for a while - the guys were some of my best friends now and it seemed like she just wanted her way in this. So I called a christian friend (by the way, very important that your person of counsel is a follower of Jesus) that I knew and trusted and relayed my position, trusting that he would see the error of my wife's ways and side with me. I couldn't have been more wrong...He told me that I wasn't married to any of my friends - but to my wife - and now her wants, desires and needs now trump my own. 'Wait a second!' I thought - 'That sucks!!' And suck it did - for me... You see, I was still living a part of my life like it belonged only to me and that whatever decisions I made for myself, my wife would just have to like it, shut up and deal with it. THAT IS NOT WHAT A GODLY HUSBAND CAN DO OR DECIDE!!! It's not 50/50 with his wife, it's 100/100 - each have a full, equal say and until they both come to the same decision (without threats, coersion, etc.), either one cannot move forward. Husbands - if you're leading your home in a biblical, God-honoring way, your wife will trust and follow your leading faithfully - let me say that again - faithfully! However, if you're not walking closely with Jesus, you will not be making biblical, God-honoring decisions - that's just the truth. If you're not walking with Jesus daily (in prayer & studying the Bible) you will not and cannot be more like Him - not my words, but God's.

"But Dav, I've got hobbies, I've got stuff I love to do - it's only 'x' number of days a week or 'x' number of weeks or weekends a year..."...let me ask you a question - what does all that extra stuff do to further the Kingdom of God? What does all that extra stuff do to lead your family and by leading in a godly manner, lead them in a deeper walk with Jesus?? If you're away from them doing all that extra stuff, someone or something else will inevitably take your place - and THAT will suck...for you and for them.

Guys, if you've accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour, you belong to Him - 100% and if you're married, your wife has 2nd dibs - if you've been blessed with kids, they've got 3rd dibs - if you work, they've got 4th dibs,...and it ends there. Back to the 'extra stuff' real quick - (by the way, I'm sure I've ticked off some guys by now, and I'm totally ok with that) - if you're able to include your wife and your kids in that stuff - AWESOME!! Seriously! As long as that 'extra stuff' doesn't take time away from what God has called you to do. But if it's to get away, hanging out w/ the boys, the guys, your gang, whatever you may call them - severely limit that time and make it a special occassion once or twice a year - MAX. These aren't my thoughts or viewpoints - they are God's - and if you've got an issue with them, take them up with Him.

Now please understand this - God is not a 'celestial Kill-joy' or a 'take you captive for the rest of your life, so you hate it' God. He is a Holy, Righteous, Loving, Just and Jealous God - and you signed up for this when He chose you as His child, you signed up for this when you said "I Do" to your wife, you signed up for this when you had that 'covenant time' with your wife and got her pregnant and when she gave birth to your kid(s) - and so did I. You have every right to hold me accountable to all of this same stuff I've written in this blog - and if you go to Taproot, I hold that same right. When we walk with Jesus, He'll align our priorities correctly and it will be a joy and blessing to be living in the manner He's called us and created us to! Jesus said in the Gospel of John, "I have come to give you life and that you may have it abundantly" (paraphrase) - so our lives will be lacking nothing when we walk faithfully, humbly and obediently with Jesus - that's His promise and guarantee to us!! Claim that promise guys! Step up and live the life Jesus has called us to - love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, love your wife (above your kids), love your kids (above work & the 'extra stuff') and provide for your family financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually (lead them as Jesus has called you to). If you haven't been, there's hope and always a fresh start - start now - today.

Want to know more? Call or email the church office and we'll partner with you and lead you through this process - it's going to be hard, guaranteed...but the rewards for you and your family and those you'll reach by God's power and grace will be eternal. Chose to live for Jesus today, read your Bible and pray with your wife daily and start with your kids too and get together for community at church with your family (Saturday nights @ 6pm @ Taproot) - God will bless you and your family. Remember - you hold me accountable too - so, ask away in a loving, God-honoring way and rock on and rock on for Jesus.

God bless,

Dav